It’s unfortunate really that so many people feel the need to tell us what we should and shouldn’t be doing, saying, and being. Our friends, in the most positive spirit possible, feel the need to tell us how deal with our spouses, raise our children, and even what career to pursue. I like to believe that they genuinely think they are helping us. And I have to admit I’ve been guilty of doing the same thing.
It’s one thing when someone asks for advice. It’s a completely different animal when it is unsolicited. Regardless of the reasoning however, oftentimes it just creates confusion for us. We get all this advice all day about what we should be doing and at the end of the day you have to wonder who is making your decisions – is it you or are you just regurgitating what someone else told you to do.
One of the few things I’m sure of is this – it’s your life and nobody else’s. Who you become, what you do with your days on earth, how you wear your hair, whether or not you play the office politic game at work, how you choose to raise your children, and how you choose to spend your time – those are your choices and nobody elses. Don’t give others so much power over your life that you are living their lives and not yours. Don’t let others decide what career path you choose.
I want to make sure I don’t influence the wrong way here. Feedback and advice are gifts we humans seek and give. However, there is a fine line between letting that feedback and advice help us make good decisions and letting it define who we become. I think we have to consider the source and why they giving us specific advice – is it their own fears or inability to make decisions themselves. God gave you a brain, a very good one. Trust your gut. Trust your instincts. It’s okay if you make mistakes. And I’m certainly not saying you shouldn’t listen to others. What I’m saying is don’t let the advice of others define who you become. Be comfortable being you even if they are not comfortable with who you are. Be authentic and real and genuine and live YOUR best life and nobody else’s.
Just for today. Live your best life. Don’t let others define you.
Mari
The great thing about Teflon is nothing sticks to it. Invented by Dupont in 1938, Teflon is known as the most slippery substance that exists. It’s an amazing material (and not just for cooking)!
I think we could all use a little Teflon coating to protect us from life. Just think of it – all that negativity you are bombarded with each day will now (with your new Teflon coating) slide right off of you. Instead of letting others influence your own moods with their baggage, it will bounce right off you. An armor of Teflon – that’s what I’m talking about. When the boss stops by to let you know how badly you messed up the most recent project – it just slides right off of you. When your friend calls to cry on your shoulder, you listen attentively and as you hang up all the drama slides right off you. The foul moods at work, the person that cuts you off driving, the spilled milk and fighting children – it doesn’t impact you at all because you are covered in Teflon baby! It’s my new approach to life – I just imagine each day I have on a Teflon armor.
Live a better life today. Just for today, spray yourself in Teflon (not literally of course) and feel confident you can take on anything the world brings your way!
Mari
Find more daily tips in my book at www.justfortodaybook.com
Believe it or not, one way to better your health, prosperity, and relationships is to be thankful for what you have today and what you have not yet received. Research has shown that those individuals that keep a thankful log (or maintain an attitude of gratitude) heal faster from injuries, achieve their goals more readily, are more optimistic about life in general, and exercise more regularly. Sounds like a pretty good life to me! This is an actual finding from an actual scientific study conducted by researchers R.A. Emmons of the University of California and M.E. McCullough of the University of Miami (http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/labs/emmons/).
In similar studies, those who complete a daily exercise in gratitude have also reported more energy, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness, and better sleep quality. Amazing isn’t it – what a simple attitude of gratitude can do for us.
I know some days it’s difficult to be grateful. The reality is your life could always be a lot worse than it is today. I know that no matter what difficulty I’m experiencing at the moment it could (and probably has been) worse.
It takes just five minutes at the beginning or end of your day to complete this exercise. Thankfulness crosses all spiritual and/or religious affiliations. It simply requires you to focus on what is great about your life. I keep my list limited to five items each day and some days (when thinks aren’t going so great), the same five items are on the list. Slowly but surely, as I maintain focus on what I am thankful for, new things come to mind that can be added. You may have difficulty with your list too. Just be diligent each day and before you know it, you’ll be creating a new list four or five times a day.
Just for today, let’s be thankful for all that’s right in our world.
I’ve noticed recently how certain life events can totally change the perspective we have in life. A perfect example is the person who thinks their life is miserable, awful, terrible, and everything is wrong with it. They win the lottery and their perspective changes. They don’t even have the money in hand yet but simply telling them they’ve won changes their perspective about everything in life. All of a sudden their lives are wonderful, they are ecstatic, and life couldn’t possibly be better.
The most amazing thing about this example is telling the person they’ve won the lottery could be a complete lie. Yet, in an instant, that person’s view of their world does a complete 360. A similar (but not as extreme) phenomenon occurs when you tell someone they look like they’ve lost weight or their hair looks nice or you give them an unexpected promotion. It can change their entire perspective for the day.
These examples only prove we have complete control over how we view our world. We can choose to wake up each day feeling miserable, thinking negative thoughts, and claiming to be powerless over the events in our lives. Basically, we can choose to view the world from a narrow lens.
Or we can put all the little trials, worries, and bothers into a much larger perspective. You’ll find people that have had to overcome a life threatening disease don’t get so worked up over a flat tire anymore. People that have lost a loved one don’t get so upset when the chores don’t get accomplished on time. And those that can’t put food on the table because they’ve been unable to find a job for the past year don’t mind so much that the humidity today is 85%. It’s all a matter of perspective. Every single day you get to decide what kind of day you are going to have. Today, you get to decide if you will have a good day or bad day. It doesn’t matter what happens today, you get to decide how you perceive it.
Live a better life. Just for today . . . . choose a wider lens.
I’ve attached one of my favorite video’s of a little girl named Jessica who at a very young age, has it all figured out. We should all be able to start our days like this. Click on the link to view this – I actually watch it several times a week!
Mari
www.justfortodaybook.com
Boy, it’s tough to be a parent! So rewarding most of the time but there are days it just wears a person out! It sure would have been nice if these small human beings had come with instructions!
I think one of the greatest challenges we have as parents is to help our children grow up without doing it for them. What I mean by that is allowing the consequences to happen and refrain from rescuing them from their own mistakes and trials. It’s normal to want to help and to “fix” things and to do everything possible to protect them from the pain that is so often a part of life. It starts when they are babies and we seek to protect them from harm, as toddlers we keep a constant eye on them as they learn the stove is hot and when we fall, sometimes it hurts. As they grow up however, we are supposed to start stepping back and allowing them to use their judgement to make good decisions. And by the time they finish high school we just pray we have provided enough guidance and strength to get them through life.
It isn’t easy to let go though. It isn’t easy to watch your child struggle because they didn’t budget their money. It isn’t easy to watch them have to work so hard to get through school. It isn’t easy when they show up broken hearted and all you can do is hug them. As parents we want to endure the pain for them and make their life as easy as possible. But is that really helping them? Isn’t part of living the experience of learning to overcome obstacles? Are we really preparing them well if we don’t let the consequences of life fall where they may? Like I said, it’s tough being a parent. Just for today, let’s back off and let our children learn. We can be there to hold them, we can care, we can cry with them, but let’s refrain from “fixing” it. Just for today . . . . .
One of the things that stop us from being all we can be is a poor utilization of the 24 hours we are each given daily. We don’t utilize our time effectively and then one day we wake to realize we have wasted years that we can never get back. Time is at a premium. I know many of you multi-task all day long. As scary as it is, I can remember many times I applied my make up and answered calls while driving on the freeway. These are NOT the type of tips I’m going to give you today. Over 20 years ago, I became addicted to the Franklin Covey Time Management system.
I was literally religious about my planner and couldn’t understand why others couldn’t (or wouldn’t) follow the system. I think I have it figured out now. It’s too complicated.
Today I want you to just focus on one area regarding the best use of your time – making a list and prioritizing that list. I have a three step process I want you to try.
1. 5 Minute Planning Period – I want you to set aside five minutes at the beginning of your day (you may have to do this tomorrow). These five minutes can be while you drink your coffee or the minute you get to your office or cubicle at work but you have to plan it. During those five minutes, I want you to write down everything you need to get accomplished in the next 24 hours. I mean everything! Write down your work-out, the groceries you need to stop and pick up, dropping off the dry-cleaning, planning dinner, cooking dinner, all the calls you need to return, reports you need to create, and everything else you need to accomplish. Don’t worry at this point about how, just write everything down.
2. Prioritize – This is the tough part. What most people do at this point is they look at the list and try to determine what they can get accomplished the fastest and that’s what they focus on first. I want you to focus on what is most important. Let’s talk about that a minute. What is important? What must get done today? What is going to have the greatest impact if I accomplish it? Which of these items will move me further personally or professionally? Let’s take working out as an example. Working out is one of those things that are easy to not get accomplished because “I just didn’t have time.” However, let’s look at the importance of working out. How is it going to affect your mental health, your ability to accomplish more (because it decreases our stress), and your physical health? It may rank higher on the list if you think of it that way. Here is where you can get creative. You can either number your items in order of importance like 1-20 or you can use an ABC (A=Absolutely must get accomplished today, B = Need to get it done but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I didn’t, and C=Actually I could do it another day) or you can color code them (Red=most important, etc.). It doesn’t really matter if you use a planner, a piece of notebook paper or napkin to write your list but you MUST prioritize the list.
3. After you prioritize the list, get busy crossing off your items as you accomplish each one. Actually, this may be the toughest step for some of you. You must work on the highest priority items first. You don’t get to start on the B items until all the A items are done (I don’t care how much faster it would be to “Write a check to the school” than “Finish the presentation for tomorrow’s meeting). You are going to feel so much less stressed if you get the most important items completed first. Keep the list with you all day and refer to it often.
Don’t worry if you don’t get everything on the list accomplished. I like to think I’m able to get a whole lot more accomplished by starting with a list than if I didn’t have a list at all. Just take the items you didn’t get to and put them on your list for the next day when you will prioritize them all over again. It isn’t unusual for some items to either increase in importance over time or fall off the list altogether.
Live a better life today. Just for today, make a list, prioritize, and focus on what is really important.
Mari
www.justfortodaybook.com
It occurred to me recently there are many people on a path to self-improvement yet they often want to acheive things for the wrong reason or they want to achieve what others tell them they should be achieving. They want to look like someone else, do what someone else did, achieve things that others think they should achieve, and quite honestly, be someone else.
This is your life and nobody elses. This is your path, your journey, and only you can live it to the fullest. Make sure you know why you want to accomplish the goals you have. Make sure you are living your life and not the life someone else planned for you. Take some time to reflect and ponder who YOU are and who you want to become.
The race is not to be better than others, it’s to be the best you can be. Your best may be on an entirely different path than someone else.
Although you may know that statement is accurate, many people often don’t live as though it is accurrate. It’s okay to be You, to live Your life. You don’t have to impress anyone else. Just for today, be the best YOU can be!
Do you ever find you are the only person holding you back from doing the things you really want? I know that sentence had a lot of focus on you but it was necessary. Or have you ever looked back at your life, at the things that you think turned out awful, only to realize, they were exactly what you asked for or thought you wanted at the time?
Here is a sad but true statement – the only one stopping you from living your life the best way possible is you. Nobody is stopping you but you. It’s not your husbands’ fault you aren’t traveling more. It’s not your kids’ fault you have no money or that you’ve gained weight. And it’s not your boss’ fault you are in a job you don’t enjoy. You have made decisions to get you where you are today and you can make decisions to get you other places.
As much as you may want to step back and blame everyone and everything else, I hope you realize it’s all you. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. We sabbotage our efforts at happiness. Our fears and insecurities prevent us from moving forward, from trying new things, and ultimately from being the best person we can be. Live a better life today. Just for Today, let’s focus on making sure we get out of our own way and welcome the blessings waiting for us!
As my son prepares to graduate this weekend, the topic of conversation in our house revolves around changes and new beginnings. Our family is experiencing more than the normal amount of change recently and I find we are all adapting a bit differently. I moved away from my children a few months ago for a job. When I say moved away, I mean really moved away – over 1000 miles. We have spent the past few months adapting to the change of my move as well as the two kids living together again (the oldest had moved out on her own a few years ago). On top of that change, my son has been accepted to NYU and will be moving to New York City at the end of the summer. Not to be left behind, my daughter has decided to move to Kansas City at the same time. So our family, for the first time ever, will be totally split up. I’m not looking forward to it but I knew it would happen at some point.
As we ate dinner tonight we each talked about our impending life changes. Both kids voice their readiness to close this chapter of their life and move on to the next. Although they are a bit anxious about the changes and sometimes fearful while being excited, they know it’s time. I can’t help but think of how healthy their approach to change has become. Maybe it’s the arrogance of youth and that feeling of “I have to get away from here (because there MUST be better than here.” Or maybe it’s just the excitement that comes with the idea of going to college. I like to think it’s because they are ready and they know they are ready. I like to think their positive attitude is because they realize there is so much more for them to experience and learn and grow and do. And of course I like to think I’ve prepared them well and they are confident in their abiities to handle whatever life brings their way.
Change is scary. We don’t know what is going to be around the corner. I can’t help but wonder how many of you know in your heart it’s time to close a chapter of your life and move on to the next chapter but are dragging your feet in protest. I wonder how many of you push the inevitable change out of your mind, ignoring it and hoping that if you don’t acknowledge it, there will be no need to change. I wonder how many of you have held on to someone or something when you should have let go or stayed in a relationship that’s been over for years. Change is hard. But change is exciting, adventurous, and fulfilling. It’s impossible to open the new chapters in your life, if you can’t close the old first.
Knowing this helps me to accept and deal with my children growing up and living their own lives. I can’t wait to see what the new chapters in their lives reveal and quite honestly, I’m even starting to look forward to the new chapters in my life. Just for Today, let’s embrace the changes that are destined to come. Let’s willingly close those old chapters and make room for the new. Let’s look forward to the future . . . . just for today.
Mari
www.justfortodaybook.com
Have you ever had one of those days? You know, one of those days that nothing seems to go right. One of those days that you feel as though you would have been better off staying in bed?
I had one of those days today. It was one of those days that I felt like I spend hours chasing my tail and at the end of the day got absolutely nothing accomplished. I hate those days! There was a time in my life days like this day would ruin not only my day but my entire week. There was a time I would come home in the evening and bring it all with me – heck, I might even wake up the next day carrying the aftermath on my shoulders.
Let’s talk about how to handle days like today.
1. Recognize it’s just one day. In the scope of your life, it’s one day. Tell yourself that all day. As one thing after the other continue to go unplanned, just keep telling yourself it’s one day, simply one day.
2. Find time to step away from it. I had to leave the building and walk outside three times today. I generally never do this in a day because I have no time. I knew if I didn’t step away, take a few deep breaths, and take care of me, I wouldn’t be able to take care of all the problems.
3. Know your limits. At the end of my day, someone came up to me and wanted “just 5 minutes.” I was packed up and ready to go. Sometimes we feel obligated no matter how depleted we are to handle everyone’s problems when they need us. I’m okay knowing my limits now. My response? “No, I don’t. I have nothing left today. It’s not that I don’t have five minutes. It’s more that you don’t want me making any decisions right now. We will have to talk tomorrow. ”
4. Find a way to rejuvenate. I joked with people yesterday that the only thing that could help me was a strong drink. The reality is I didn’t drink anything. I came home, took a long walk, and watched a funny movie. I didn’t get any of my household chores done and guess what, the sky didn’t fall! I took care of me. I know when I’ve had a day full of people, their issues, and lots of problems that I need to be alone to refresh myself. I might need to be alone for thirty minutes or for hours but I need that in order to be the best person I can be. I also enjoy being around my kids during this time because they put life in perspective for me. Figure out what you need and don’t feel guilty about taking it.
5. Let it go. It’s one day. Don’t allow it to turn into two days, three days, or weeks. Start each day fresh.
Just for today let’s remember that one bad day is just that – ONE bad day. Tomorrow is a new day full of new experiences. Let’s make the best of this day, no matter what it might bring . . . .just for today.
Mari Peck