March 7th, 2010
As a life long learner and student of self-help books myself, a friend recently introduced me to Louise Hay. Okay, well, I didn’t meet her personally but I was introduced to her book and video “You Can Heal Your Life.” Excellent stuff! Anyway, she mentions a concept that I have just fallen in love with and wish I had known it years ago.
Ms. Hay says we should eliminate the word “should” from our vocabulary and everytime we would be inclined to use that word, we can replace it with “could if I chose to.” She is really on to something here because everytime we say we should do something we are really calling ourselves failures for not doing it. We are beating ourselves up, creating internal guilt, and we give up our power. When we say “I could do (fill in the blank) if I chose to” we have all the power in that comment. And really it’s true. Isn’t it amazing how powerful words can be?????
I’ve always thought that words turn in to actions – either positive or negative. We can say words to others that build them up or tear them down. We can say words to ourselves (self-talk – yes, we all do it) that either promote peace or guilt.
Watch your words today – what are you saying to yourself and to others?
Mari
Tags: Hay House, Louise Hay, positive attitude, self-help, self-talk, should, women, words
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March 5th, 2010
I had to break out the glass to my door to get into my house last night. Evidentially, my house is a fortress and the only way to get in is by using a ladder to get to the second story and busting out a window. So, you can imagine the glass mess, the cold draft, and how disruptive this unplanned event was.
After we (I had company) cleaned up the mess and put cardboard up, we opened a bottle of wine and toasted to my cardboard window. Now, I could have let that bother me the entire night but what’s the point, how would that help. I couldn’t help but laugh at my own stupidity.
So, how are you looking at those daily struggles? Are you letting them get the best of you and ruin your day and/or week? Are you holding on when you should be letting go? Are you getting angry when you could be laughing? It’s all a choice you know, it’s your choice.
Let’s hope I can find a reasonable repair person today . . . . . . . .
Mari
Tags: adversity, broken window, choices, positive, positive attitude, struggle
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March 4th, 2010
I was driving to work yesterday and thinking about how, as women, most of aspire to be nice people. We are considerate of others, empathetic, helpful, understanding, and we are constantly doing nice things for others (i.e. making lunches for our family, buying flowers for friends, cooking meals for those with a loss, etc.). The really sad news is that we have a tendency to not be so nice to ourselves.
It is just as important that we be nice to ourselves as it is that we be nice to others. We have a tendency to expect others to fill up our cup because we are giving to everyone else. Then when they don’t fill up our cup by doing for us, we are angry, frustrated, sad, confused, and basically we beat ourselves up and end up being upset with others at the same time. Why wait for others to be nice to you? What is so wrong with being nice to yourself? Why is it so hard to just quit saying “I should (fill in the blank)” and eliminate the guilt associated with all the things you think you should be doing. Why not by yourself some flowers and stick them in a vase? Why not take care of yourself by getting some excersice or leaving work at a reasonable time?
You only get to live this life once – are you going to spend it waiting for others to do what you want to do? Take control of your life and be nice to yourself today. : )
Mari Peck
Tags: inspirational, inspirational women, just for today, nice, women
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March 3rd, 2010
Last night I had dinner with a friend and the my life history became the topic of conversation. As I started to tell her about my past the adversities I had to overcome to get to where I am, she was astonished. I was reminded at the few people that know my history and how astonished they have been. I guess I don’t think about it much. People are generally shocked at how much I laugh and what a happy person I am in spite of overcoming many odds in the process. She kept saying what an amazing person I am and I was both shocked and humbled at the same time. I began to realize it may be beneficial for me to share some of my “secrets” to help you, my reader with your obstacles.
You know, happiness really is a choice. I see so many people carrying the burdens from 20 years ago. They are holding anger and grudges against people that have long since passed away or left their lives. They are giving them so much power over their lives – power they don’t deserve. I truly believe that nobody gets out of bed in the morning thinking about whose life they can screw up today. Most people do the best they can with what they have. Now, what they have may be messed up and so the result isn’t so positive. But still, I like to believe everyone is doing the best they can with what they know and believe and have at that moment in time.
It’s unfortunate that bad things happen to good people. And I don’t want to get into a philosophical discussion about why that occurs. The reality is, it just does. But everytime one of those things happen to us, we have a choice in that momemt to decide what to do with it – we can get angry, we can get sad, we can take it at face value, we can take responsibility if warranted, or we can act out of love and acceptance.
I don’t like everything that happens in my life. However, I generally take the attitude that it could be worse. And since I’ve lived “worse” most things aren’t all that worth getting excited about.
I like to laugh. It makes me happy. And the added bonus is that it makes everyone around me happy too. Sometimes I don’t feel so much like laughing. When I’m home alone and missing my kids, I sometimes just feel like crying. That’s when the choice comes in. I can sit in a chair and cry for five hours or I can download a comedy from netflix and laugh. Although I don’t deny I have cried, let me just tell you I pay for it dearly the next day by having eyes that look like I haven’t slept in a week. Laughing has no negative physical effects and my crying doesn’t change my living situation (for those that don’t know I moved to Atlanta for a job and my kids are still in Kansas). It’s all about choices. What choice are you making today?
Mari
Tags: choices, crying, laughing, netfllix, overcoming obstacles
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September 12th, 2009
Today is all you have. There are no guarantees for tomorrow.
Are you making choices that matter?
Listen now to my five minute audio to help you make better, more impactful choices.
Remember, it’s FREE, will last just five minutes, and may help you to get control of your life so you can truly enjoy this life you were given as opposed to racing through it.
The audio series is intended to help you make incremental changes, baby steps so to speak. I’ll be publishing the audio links in my blog each week so you can listen to them at your convenience. Have a listen to the audio for this week by clicking the link below:
Making Choices That Matter 5 Minute Audio
Let me help you balance out your life a little so it is fulfilling and enjoyable rather than harried and frantic.
Have a great day and make choices that matter . . . . .just for today.
Mari Peck
Tags: busy women, choices, time management
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September 7th, 2009
In my last audio blog I talked about taking the time to determine WHY you do what you do that makes you so crazy busy that you don’t have a minute for yourself. I’d like to expand on that thought now.
I’ve found that many women like to blame the WHY on everyone and everything else in their life.
“I have to be so busy because if I don’t do it, nobody else will.”
“Well, my deadbeat husband won’t help so I have to do it.”
“My boss is a slave driver – that’s why I’m so busy!”
I can’t help but wonder if the real reason some of us keep so busy is because we are afraid to be alone with ourselves. Keeping busy keeps us from being alone with our own thoughts, feelings and fears. But I digress . . . . I want to talk about the topic at hand “Is Anyone Driving This Vehicle?” That is really a metaphor for “Who is directing your life?” When we keep busy doing what everyone else wants or needs us to do, we aren’t driving our own vehicle anymore – someone else is, and that someone else may not even be going in the same general direction as you would be if you were really driving. Of course, they like to make you think you are driving but it’s like the GPS is all messed up and before you know it you have no idea how you ended up where you are and where you are is not where you wanted to be. It’s like you thought you were headed for Hawaii but you ended up in the desert and you were too busy being busy to notice your surroundings did not remotely resemble paradise.
This is your life – nobody elses. Yes, events happen that we don’t expect. And yes, choices are made by others that impact us. Ultimately, we get to take responsibility for our own outcomes. Regardless of what happens to us, we then make the choice regarding how we handle the events of our life. Nobody is responsible for you but you. Of course, if I can get you to do all my stuff, I’m all over it. But the reality is, you have to make choices each and every day to make sure you are the one driving your vehicle. You can’t be on auto-pilot and rely on others to get you there. Now don’t get me wrong, if part of your mission in life is to help as many people as possible achieve their dreams and goals then go for it. Just make sure you are keeping busy with activities that you choose and not activities that others have guilted (yes, I know this isn’t a real word) you into doing.
Each and ever day as you start your day make sure you are the one driving.
Find out more on my website at www.justfortodaybook.com
Until next time,
Mari
Tags: busy women, decision making, frantic, guilt, overworked, women, womens issues
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August 30th, 2009
Are You A Woman Who Does Too Much?
- Do you race through your days from the time you get up until you fall, exhausted in your bed at night?
- Not sure whether you are coming or going most of the time?
- Do you sometimes feel like time has control of you rather than you controlling your time?
- Is “relaxing” to you only doing two things at the same time instead of your normal four?
- Do you sometimes feel a little resentful at the lack of time you have for yourself?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, I’d like to invite you to listen in on my audio series. It’s FREE, will last just five to ten minutes once a week, and may help you to get control of your life so you can truly enjoy this life you were given as opposed to racing through it.
This weeks’ topic is determining “Why You Do What You Do.” I’m not going to mislead you – If you want to get off the roller coaster and have a fulfilling life it is going to take hard work on your part. As I’ve lectured across the country I’ve realized a one-time lecture and sending you home with my book isn’t enough to help you make the necessary changes. The audio series is intended to help you make incremental changes, baby steps so to speak. I’ll be publishing the audio links in my blog each week so you can listen to them at your convenience. For the first episode, I’ve included the link here:
http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/61436
Let me help you balance out your life a little so it is fulfilling and enjoyable rather than harried and frantic.
Mari
Tags: busy women, frantic, overworked, professional women, woman, womens issues
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July 31st, 2009
I’m turning 45 this weekend. Yep, 45 years old. The second half of my life starts this weekend (assuming a 90 year life span). Of course, with my birthday come a variety of significant events – mostly deep contemplation sprinkled with a bit of wine and maybe a party or two.
I was thinking about how during the first quarter of my life I didn’t really make all that many decisions regarding anything about my life. Mostly my parents, friends, and family made those decisions and I just did what was expected of me.
Then, the second quarter of my life I started making decisions but boy did I jump into a lot of them without thinking much! And then there were all the bad decisions I made . . . . And then there were all the life events I let determine my future . . . . . and the list goes on. It wasn’t all bad and much of the time I felt very much in control of my life. But alas, lessons learned and lessons yet to reveal themselves.
As I enter into the last half of my life, I realize I want to be the driver for this half. I don’t want to let others control my time, feelings, moods, or future. I don’t want to do things because I feel like I’ll let someone down if I don’t. I don’t want to be held responsible for others’ happiness and I don’t want to hold others responsible for mine. I don’t want to spend time with people I don’t like. And I don’t want to work at a job where I’m not valued. I don’t want to look in the mirror and not like what I see. And I don’t want to be in relationships that don’t bring joy and happiness to both of us. That’s a long list of “I don’t want to” so the question remains “What do I want instead?”
I want to start making decisions based on what I want instead of others. That sounds a bit selfish I know but the reality is if I’m not happy, others can’t be happy around me. And whose life is this anyway – they all have their own life to live, why would they want to tell me how to live mine? I’m going to make a decision each and every day to be the best person I can be for that day without thinking about yesterday or tomorrow. I’m going to choose who I spend my time with very wisely and surround myself with people that inspire me and make me laugh. I’m going to make positive choices each day based on my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs and not what friends and family say I should be doing. God gave me a great brain and heart and I’m going to start using it more frequently. I’m going to strive to bring laughter and happiness into the lives of others and on those days when I’m in a “mood”, I will keep to myself instead of inflicting the pain on my family.
So, my blogging friends. This is the beginning of the second half of my life. What about you? What decisions are you making? It doesn’t have to be your birthday to start taking control but it is a good opportunity for reflection. Have a wonderful day and stay tuned for more!
Tags: 45, attraction, balance, birthday, life, women, womens issues
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July 17th, 2009
As a 40 something DWF I am often amazed at the pick up lines some men use in hopes of getting our attention. I know dating and the fear of rejection is difficult guys but come on now, try being just a little creative for a change. And if you truly do have a fear of rejection I would think that would lead you to be just a bit more strategic in your pick up attempts.
So last night I was meeting some friends in our renovated down town district. It has become very well developed and is generally full of activity. I was running late so I had parked my car and was walking at a relatively fast pace toward our meeting location when a man about my age comes riding down the street, looks me right in the eye and says “How YOU Doing?” in the famous Joey from Friends tone. I chuckle to myself at the stupidity of this guy trying such a lame approach while still acting totally confident in the process. Oh, did I mention he was on a bicycle??!! As I’m chuckling and he is staring at me, he runs into a pole ON HIS BICYCLE. Okay, if we were in NYC and the guy were riding a bicycle it might not be so bad but I’m in Wichita, KS – we don’t even really have public transportation. And it isn’t like he’s Lance Armstrong or anything or that it was even a nice bike. I’m thinking he probably got a DUI, lost his license and now he is trying to pick up women with his bicycle. OMG – will the insanity ever stop??!! Stay tuned for more Adventures of a DWF Seeking Success.
Mari
Tags: dating, divorced women, pick up lines, women
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July 12th, 2009
As I embark on this journey, my newest journey, I feel compelled to share it with all the women I aspire to inspire and help along the way. I’m thinking the best way to do that is to share my journey with you. How can I possibly inspire others without being inspired myself?
So, this blog will share a bit of my story, lessons learned, and bits of wisdom I’ve obtained along the way. By hearing my story, reading about my setbacks and accomplishments, and hopefully getting a good laugh out of some of my escapades, I hope to make your day a little brighter. Most importantly I hope to help you live your best life. That being said, let’s talk about how to live your best life.
One thing I’ve become painfully aware of recently is the number of people pursuing goals and dreams and ideals that aren’t even theirs to pursue. They don’t even know why they seeking to achieve them. There are people seeking to earn more money simply so they can have more stuff. Unfortunately, they think “stuff” is going to make them happier. There are women who need to have their house spotless just because they are afraid a neighbor might stop by unexpectedly and think bad of them for having a dust bunny in the corner. Why would my valuable time be contingent on what someone else thinks of me? I think the first step in determining how to go about living our best life is to determine what it looks like for us – not what the media says it should look like, or our parents, or our friends. It’s not their life – it’s yours! They can decide what to do with their own lives but who are they to decide how you should live yours?
It’s easier said than done I know. There probably isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t have to ask myself “why” I’m doing something. “Why” is a really good question. I know it’s annoying when coming at you 500 times a day from a three year old but maybe we could learn something from our toddlers. I have to say I wish I had asked the questions sooner.
There was a period of my life where pursuing my career and making more money was all encompassing. I wanted the big house, wonderful husband, 2.5 children, dog, upwardly mobile career, and money to burn. In retrospect I have no idea why I wanted all that but I did. And I got it. But not without a price. It’s funny how our perspective changes.
Now I have a much smaller home, no husband, kids pretty much grown, and a sick dog. My priorities have changed. As I finish one more year with my youngest child, I just want to have time to be truly engaged in both kids’ lives, enough money to pay the bills, good health for all, no drama, and a plan that will propel me once my youngest goes off to college. How could wanting so little possibly inspire other women? Stay tuned and you’ll see.
Mari
Tags: Goals, inspire, women
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